Tag: life

Keep supporting others

 

I read a lot of posts about people not supporting each other.
I know it feels like a let down. I know that you feel disappointed.
Don’t stop supporting other businesses and their people, even if they don’t give a second thought, or a supportive nod to your efforts.
They like that you support them, send you thank you notes, but when it comes to reciprocate, they rarely if ever show up.
It doesn’t matter at all. Keep being who you are, give from your heart and never let other people’s behavior change your integrity, passion, and willingness to help without expecting anything.
We are all trying to make it in this world. Yes, it would be great if everyone was as supportive, giving and helpful. But this is not the case.
Keep fighting your fight, keep striving for the best. Just don’t change because of other people’s indifferent behavior.
Social Media platforms, big words of encouragement and promises for support are a dime a dozen.
Actual actions matter. So if you don’t feel the love and support from your peers or from people you support, don’t give up. Don’t be frustrated or disappointed. It’s not worth it.
Be honest, be kind, be helpful. Let other people be who they are.
They will always keep asking for your help when they need you. They will never support you.
Let’s make it in this world without expecting anyone’s support, help or encouragement.
We are fighters! We can do this!

 

 

We Are Women!

We are born multi-taskers!
We are fighters!
We have so much to offer!

We should not accept that age will defeat our goals, dreams and creativity! We should not accept losing good jobs because some of us are over 50!

We are women! We are strong! We can still dream, do, make things happen, have great lives and careers. We are not ready to be put aside!

Fellow women keep being strong, let’s keep empowering each other, help each other succeed and show the world what we are made of.

Gratitude and Ego

Personal growth goes a very long way.
A lot of people get stuck behind their ego, never move on in life, “hate” situations and never forgive and forget. They keep carrying grudges, filter the world around them through a warped lens, and live in a very definite space that makes them unhappy whether they realize it or not.
In the business and career world, personal has absolutely nothing to do with professional. Good manners, positive attitude, leaving ego aside, does not even come to the picture for those people.

Imagine landing the job of your dreams, and still feeling miserable because the whole world is against you, or so you think. This affects your performance, your communication with colleagues, bosses, team members and believe it or not your own family.
It is really so simple to live and let live, to let go. The past can only serve as lessons learned. If we use the past to dictate our attitude toward life and people around us, all we can do eventually is lose everything.

Our journey on this planet is minuscule. Before we know it, life passes and we are stuck in our 60’s, 70’s and live in regret.

I will ask one question that I kept asking in the seminars I used to teach: Someone calls you stupid. You hear the sound that these words make. Do you let it get in? Does this define who you know you are?

Your “person” your “ego” do not belong in any equation. Neither in your professional, nor in your private life.

Every human being is different, makes mistakes, learns, and moves on. By getting glued on what ifs, on past situations that can no longer be changed, on grudges, you only hurt yourself and take others down with you.

Conclusion: Live every moment in harmony, see others for who they are, never judge, never assume and never be passive aggressive. Neither your career nor your life can become better.

Last question: Which is better? Living a miserable lonely life, or being part of this huge community that is called life, enjoy all the curves and ups and downs, and keep going. Fall in bed every night knowing that you have given the world and those around you the very darn best that you can EVERY SINGLE DAY!

This will only give you back loyal friends, colleagues, a happy family and great success at everything that you do.

 

Wishing is different than doing!

star141Most of the people I meet, are in “The Secret” frenzy, in positive thinking, in submitting to the fates.
Meditation, praying, visualizing, positive thinking, are all great and do work if you know how to use those tools. Simply sending positive thoughts out “there” and believing that some supreme being will bring it to you is wrong.
If you REALLY want to have food at your table, you have to work HARD to get it. Continue reading “Wishing is different than doing!”

Holidays are around the corner

November is already here and with it starts a frenzy of spending.

This is a very good time to budget your expenses, because most of my clients come to me wide eyed after the Holidays asking themselves where all the money went. We tend to forget that the year comes to an end and we need to prepare for taxes. Do you have all your ducks in a row?

I have talked about creating a budget in the past. If you haven’t done so, PLEASE start now. Make sure that you are out of debt! If you have consumer debt (credit cards, store cards, etc.) get creative about the upcoming Holidays. Expensive gifts are not going to help you with your debt, and don’t show how much you love your friends and family.
Start simply with an excel sheet, write down ALL your monthly expenses and include your credit card debt payments.
On the next column write down what you bring in every month. Subtract expenses from income and see what you have left.

If there is nothing left, then you have to set some goals and get rid of your debt as fast as possible. Wait to do some basic shopping after Thanksgiving, when prices are at their best.
Make a very conservative list of people you NEED to buy presents for. If you have kids, they don’t need 20 presents each. They can do with 2. Don’t fall for the social pressure trap, and never compare your situation with others. Everyone has their own financial situation and never forget that we create our situation.

Make these Holidays simple, happy and surrounded only by people that truly matter. You can absolutely decline invitations that do not mean anything more than more expenses, and that are not surrounded by friends.

I have cut my list down to 8 people. Everyone else, like colleagues, social acquaintances, my hair and nail salon people etc., will be very happy to receive a small package of cookies or a cake that you baked. You can easily find cheap festive baking pans in your local super market, and simply bake something. The cost of this will only thank your wallet.

I will be posting more ideas as the days go by. Have a great November, and remember! Good finances give you absolute freedom from stress and anxiety.

 

 

 

Unemployment as Reality

Thinking about life, jobs, careers, finances, I read this very interesting article and am sharing it with you.

Unfortunately, unemployment is a reality nowadays, so some of you might find some hope and insight.

Feeling Ashamed of Being Unemployed – Am I afraid of telling people that I am out of work?

Published by Robert L. Leahy, Ph.D. in Anxiety Files

I told a neighbor of mine that I had written a book on coping with unemployment and he said to me, “I never told you this, but last year I was unemployed for five months. The worst time for me was when I got up in the morning. I was too embarrassed to go out. I felt like I was in a prison until five in the afternoon when I could leave my apartment. I didn’t want anyone to know that I was unemployed”. How sad—but how human. He is not alone. In Tokyo businessmen get dressed up in the early morning in their suits and leave their apartments and take a train to another part of the city where they sit in a park all day until they can return home. They don’t want anyone to know that they are unemployed. For many, there is a sense of shame, of personal failure, a sense that everyone can see that they don’t have a job and that everyone is judging them. Some people think, “It’s like I am wearing a sign around my neck—unemployed, failure, unwanted.”

Normalize unemployment

But isn’t unemployment a normal condition in our economy? If there are millions of people unemployed at any one time, isn’t it part of our economic system? An unfortunate part-but also simply a reality. Being unemployed is not the same thing as committing a felony. It’s a difficult time, it’s hard to cope, but it’s seldom something anyone intentionally wants. In fact, at any time in history, the job market is fluid. People are always in and out of and in between jobs. One of my former employees filed for unemployment after he finished his training—because his next job (an internship) didn’t start for two months. He was simply exercising his rights in collecting his benefits. He was smart.

Unfortunately, we don’t live in a world of permanent, life-long jobs. We live in a fluid world, jobs change, markets change, and the job pool is “elastic”. Jobs disappear and jobs are created.

Networks count

Ask yourself, if you are unemployed, “Am I afraid of telling people that I am out of work?” If you are, then you might be missing the chance to get a job. Why? In a study by Franzen and Hangartner in 2006 in the United States, 44% of people got their job through a social contact. The more social contacts that you have, the easier it is to get a job. But if you are so embarrassed about being unemployed- and you tell no one- then you are not making use of your network. Reaching out may be the lifeline that you need.

And think about what you may be avoiding if you are like my neighbor. You are not getting out meeting people, doing things, feeling normal. You are imprisoning yourself. I suggest to my patients who feel this way that they need to take back their lives, go to all the places that they have been avoiding and even—if it seems appropriate—tell someone that they are out of work.

Don’t assume that everyone is a critic

How do you feel about a friend or family member who is out of work? Do you treat them like they are an outcast? You probably have more sympathy and acceptance for a stranger than you might have for yourself. One of my patients who had been unemployed found that a friend also told him that he had gone through a period of being out of work. Sometimes people might actually look at this as an opportunity to help someone they care about.

Take back your life

Locking yourself in your own prison and feeling ashamed about a normal but difficult part of life only undermines your opportunity to take back your life, recognize that being unemployed is simply a current situation to deal with—not a character failing—and that talking to people can help you realize that some people might actually be on your side.

Here are some things to keep in mind:

Unemployment is a normal part of life for millions of decent people.
Being unemployed is not a crime or a moral failing.
Feeling ashamed of economic conditions is like blaming yourself for the economy. You didn’t cause it, you don’t control it.
Bad things happen to good people during difficult times.
Taking back your life means getting out, talking to people, and normalizing what you do.
Don’t assume that people will judge you. Maybe they have been through this in the past.
The more people you talk to, the better your chance of getting a job.

 

 

Happier with Less

 

Times are changing fast all around the world. A lot of people keep saying: “ah those good old days”. The old days were much simpler and people were used to living with much less.

Just think about it for a second. Did they have cell phones or television or Internet? Did they care if they would buy a new car every two years? Did they have stacks of clothes hanging in closets unused?

People were happy with one good pair of shoes, one Sunday outfit and a roof over their heads. OK I get it, nobody wants to live in what we have come to label as poverty anymore.

BUT living with less can actually make you happier.

I decided to do just that, and you can’t imagine how much happier I am. As a result I spend MUCH less, I actually have extra money left at the end of each month.

I will explain how I do it.  Using a budget, we see and decide how we can save even more.

Here’s the list:

1. We never have lights on except for the room in which we are sitting.

2. We have only ONE television set. No need to pay high cable bills.

3. We did a research and cut the home phone line completely. We are only using our cell phones. We save about $120.00 per month. And you can add your cell phone to your local police station for reverse 911 calls and emergencies.

4. We switch computers off at night and unplug everything from the walls. We managed to pay an average electric bill of $35 per month.

5. We never let the water run while brushing our teeth. It’s a waste

6. We use small space heaters and not the central heating unit, because this way we are warm where we sit and spend much less energy.

7. We eat out once every other month. The rest of the time, we socialize with our friends and share dinners at our homes. We are having so much fun.

8. We have a set grocery list and never “cheat”. We buy what we actually eat and never have to throw good food away. For a household of two, we pay no more than $850 per month for groceries, cleaning supplies, and cosmetics.

9. We have created a “wish” list of clothes, shoes and accessories, and we send it to our friends and family. We have decided that receiving what we need during Christmas and our birthdays, makes it easy on the people who want to buy gifts for us, and we almost spend zero on clothing anymore.

10. We don’t buy magazines. We can read everything we need online.

You can play with this list idea and you will see how much simpler your life will get and how much money you can save with little effort. We are very happy and wish you all the same! Life is about living happy and within our means.

 

Success

Success is a word used for about everything. Success in life, in love, in business, in education, in careers…. and the list goes on.

I decided to look at the word success as a label, given by society, parents, family, friends, colleagues. The measurement of success should be our own. In other words we have to own it. If we are happy with what we do, it’s a success. If we are healthy, it’s a success. If we make ends meet in this drab economy, it’s success. Well, even if we find parking in a super busy mall it’s a success.

So, I learned to measure my successes in small doses and guess what? I feel pretty successful. Nobody can rain on my parade, nobody can tell me if I’m successful or not by their measurement of the word. It’s a word! That’s what it is. Words are words. What you make of them is another story.

We like to take everything personally, because we were brought up this way, because we were trained to strive for something others have and we don’t. We measure everything by what someone else is doing or not doing. How about we stop for a moment and start pondering about life. When is good, good enough? When is a paycheck that pays the bills enough? Why are we in this frenzy of more, more, and more?

Keep thinking about this for a moment. You are a success, cause you’re alive, here, now.  The rest is the “sauce” of life. If you are happy with what and who you really are, you’re a success. Don;t let anybody tell you otherwise.

Don’t be a Grinch. So many people complain every single day or their lives.
Oh I don’t have enough money, oh he/she said this or did that, oh I’m fed up, Oh I wish things were different.

S T O P

If you’re in this self pity game, you will receive only negativity and more problems. The more you FEEL and think and talk about your problems, your misery, your inadequacy, your this and your that, universe will give you a truckload of just that. WHY? Because you become the magnet of summoning EVERYTHING that you think and spend your energy on.

So, believe, FEEL, that you’re a success, feel that sentiment of gratitude for your loved ones, for the roof over your head, for the life that YOU have chosen to live. NOBODY tells you what decisions to make in life, NOBODY but YOU is responsible for your actions, your thoughts, your decisions, your feelings.

Cheer up! We have A LOT to be thankful for, and YES, we’re all successes in a small or big way. Depends on how we look at it.

Turn the lights on in your heart and mind, and KEEP THEM ON!

Can we change our attitude and actually make it financially?

These are some interesting times. All I hear from my clients and acquaintances is that nobody can survive financially.

Is there anything to be done? I say YES. There is a lot we can do. We can start by changing our attitudes toward money and toward what we think we NEED. We have become so spoiled that we have lost touch with reality. The TV industry is filled with programs that keep telling us how to make more money, how to save money, how to invest or not invest, how to cut expenses. The other half of television fills our brains with SPEND SPEND SPEND.
Where is the silver line here? How do we learn how to exist in moderation while at the same time enjoying our lives?
Greed has become equal to success, to prosperity and to our status in life. How wrong is that.
The first thing we ALL have to realize is that when we leave this earth, we will take NOTHING with us. No expensive clothes, no cars, no homes, no jewelry, NOTHING.

Having said that, what are our actual NEEDS in life? Well, it’s simpler than it sounds. We actually NEED to have a roof over our heads, our health and food. The rest we have learned to accept as society’s rules for our status in life.

Do we need a new car every couple of years? NO
Do we need to buy “stuff” for our homes every month? NO
Do we need the newest model of cell phone, tablet, computer? NO
Do we need to spend on lattes daily? NO
Do we need to have manicures and pedicures every week? NO
Do we need to eat at Restaurants weekly? NO

Can we live with less? DEFINITELY
Can we learn how to prioritize needs vs wants? DEFINITELY
Can we actually write down our expenses and take an honest look at our financial status? DEFINITELY

All we need is the will to change without excuses.
Write down your monthly OBLIGATIONS, which should contain no more than the following:
1. Rent or mortgage
2. Electricity
3. Water
4. Gas
5. Telephone and cell phone
6. Car payment (if you have one)
7. TV (cable or satellite)
8. Health Insurance

Then, write down the MUST  expenses:
1. Gas for the car
2. Groceries

That’s all you need at first. Then make a second column and write ALL your monthly income.
When you compare the two, (income vs expenses) you MUST have money left, otherwise you are running on empty.
You haven’t seen me mention anywhere credit card debt payment. I did do on purpose, because you should NOT have credit card debt. If you do, you have to pay it off immediately. Take your credit cards, lock them in a drawer and forget they exist. You never need more than one credit card, and that ONLY for emergencies such as doctors, or hospitals.

You have to put aside the money you have left after all is paid every month.
Do not splurge on lattes, haircuts pedicures, clothes, shoes, etc unless you can actually put some money in a savings account.

If you have let’s say 50 dollars left, then this is your “pamper” budget for the entire month.

This is the ONLY way we will all survive and get out of debt. STOP comparing your situation with others. Learn to enjoy your home, invite friends over for a meal, actually friend meals that rotate from home to home is a great way to have fun, pay MUCH LESS for food and drinks and stay connected.

Make the effort to live within your NEEDS and below your means. Suze Orman, knows exactly what she’s talking about. We have to live within our own truth, take charge of our lives and situations and be HAPPY and GRATEFUL for the little things in life, such as our friends, our homes, our communities.
 

We can be very thankful

We are lucky to be living in a country that offers us all every opportunity to succeed, to be happy and to prosper.

Despite the weak economy, we are blessed. Yes people, we are indeed blessed.
Take a good look around. Earthquakes, fights, uprising, famine, unstable nations, people without homes or even a simple plate of food on their tables.

We should all pray and count our blessings every single day! We live in heaven compared to other nations.
This is to all who fight for a better tomorrow, to those who are losing hope, to those who think that everything sucks.

It doesn’t! We can live simpler lives, we can be happy with what we have when so many around us have absolutely nothing!